This suggestion for a healing ritual came in a newsletter from Lifechoice. (I receive information from Lifechoice because Doug was a tissue donor. I never expected the kind of follow-up they offer to donor families - it has been truly amazing.)

A Holiday Wreath

A holiday wreath is a traditional part of the holidays in most homes. It is a simple wreath, usually made of fresh greens in which you can place five candles. The wreath may be placed on any table or fireplace mantel.

As you light each candle this year, you may want to create a new ritual that can become a tradition for Thanksgiving and throughout the holiday season. It can help you include your loved one in the celebration. Here are some suggested words to accompany lighting of the five candles.

As we light these five candles in honor of you, we light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories, one for our love and one for our hope.

• This candle represents our grief. The pain of losing you is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.
• This candle represents our courage - to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, to change our lives.
• This candle is in your memory - the times we laughed, the times we cried, the times we were angry with each other, the silly things you did, and the caring and joy you gave us.
• This candle is the light of love. As we enter this holiday season, day by day we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your life brought to each of us.
• And this candle is for hope. It reminds us of love and memories of you that are ours forever. May the glow of the flame be our source of hopefulness.
  
  We love you.

MORE

• Essays on grieving/mourning
• Healing rituals