When my husband passed away unexpectedly, I had no idea how hard it would be.

I had lost people I loved in the past. Some died under tragic circumstances. However, nothing prepared me for what it would be like to lose my partner, lover, best friend, soulmate, roommate, support team, handyman, co-adventurer, role model, confidante, advisor, the person who knew me better than anyone, the one I could also count on, the one I planned my future with, the source of fun, encouragement, inspiration, financial support, entertainment and joy, all in one fell swoop.

So I started writing. I wrote late at night and early in the morning, when the rest of the world was asleep. I found that writing helped me sort through the confusion, pain and fear.

If we live long enough, we will all lose someone we love. If someone close to you has died, maybe my experiences will help you. I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about grief. Or perhaps this site might help you understand what it is like for those left behind, and what you can do to help them survive.

• Site Map (alphabetical by topic)
• Blog
• Progress, month by month
• Links
• Books
• Stages of Grief
• What to expect when you are bereaved (10/10/2010)
• Planning the services (wake/calling hours/funeral/memorial service) (10/14/2011)
• Quotes and Poems that have touched me
  • I never thought (poem)
• What I need. How to help a grieving person - suggested do's and don'ts. (07/16/2010)
• Words of advice for the to be bereaved - things to do and think about BEFORE a loss (09/08/2010)
• The dragonfly story, by Doris Stickney (added 06/20/2010)
• My Fears and Worries (06/27/2010)
• Please don't try to force me to eat what I don't need or want (06/28/2010)
• Family and Friends cushioning the blow (06/30/2010)
• Regrets and wishes (07/04/2010)
• Changed financial circumstances (07/15/2010)
• Suicide and suicidal thoughts in the midst of grief (07/16/2010)
• Healing Rituals (07/17/2010)
• Grief & Safety (07/20/2010)
• Interrupting rumination - alternative coping strategies (07/21/2010)
• The things I DON'T regret (07/22/2010)
• "You need to keep busy" (07/24/2010)
• Butterflies as a symbol of hope and new life (07/26/2010)
• The Wish-You-Were-Still-Here Birthday Party/Drunkfest (07/26/2010)
• Do the departed watch over us? Signs. Legacies. (07/28/2010)
• Living with Guilt and Thoughtworms (07/31/2010)
• Sudden death - what it is like for those left behind (08/11/2010)
• Gift basket ideas (sympathy, condolence, grieving) (08/12/2010)
• Things that trigger tears (08/17/2010)
• Reverse "What Ifs?" (08/17/2010)
• Walking Alone (09/04/2010)
• Is it better to have loved and lost, or never to have loved at all? (09/05/2010)
• Redefining Loneliness (09/17/2010)
• Why it is likely that a lifetime of loneliness awaits me. The odds are against being so lucky in love again. (09/26/2010)
• Bereavement Support Groups - pros, cons, bottom line (10/04/2010)
• Planting parsley (10/06/2010)
• Sleepless nights (10/17/2010)
• The Nest of the Loneliness Birds
• Change in Martial Status (10/22/2010)
• The Nest of the Loneliness Birds
• Changes - Physical, Social, Mental and Emotional (11/05/2010)
• Five candles - a holiday memorial and healing ritual (11/25/2010)
• Attending a gathering for donor families (05/17/2011)
• Dealing with the ashes (05/18/2011)
• What I am grateful for (06/08/2011)
• Surviving the first year (06/18/2011)
• I met someone (07/11/2011)
• Delving into dating after death or divorce (10/05/2011)
• Planning services (funeral, calling hours, memorial service) (10/14/2011)
• What do I do with the wedding rings? (10/25/2011)
• Do I stay or do I go now? What to do about the house (11/15/2011)
• Guilty of surviving and loving again (12/03/2011)
• Denial (12/13/2011)
• Loss and pain in the heart and brain (12/15/2011)
• Things I was mistaken about (12/27/2011)
• The Raisin Widows (01/03/2012)
• The best (and worst) advice I received (01/12/2012)
• Dreams of the dead (02/02/2012)