The minds and hearts of grieving people swirl with irrational and rational thoughts, fears, worries, wishes, guilt, regrets and emotions.

It helps me to write things down. I use this website for some of my musings, but many people would not be comfortable with something so public.

Right after I lost Doug, someone asked me what I needed. When I was younger, I kept a diary. This time I asked her to pick me up a journal.

I find it is useful for:

• exploring and seeking understanding
• noting "crazy" thoughts I'm not comfortable with sharing with people around us
• working on getting rid of thoughtworms
• "write" to the lost one.

A journal or diary is a safe, private place, where you can capture this "stuff" down in one place. Don't worry about editing - it's for your heart and mind.

It may enable you, at some point, to stop dwelling and start living.

MORE

• What I need - suggestions on what to say or do to help the grief stricken
• Wishes and regrets
• Worries and fears
• Thoughtworms and guilt
• Interrupting rumination
• Stages of grief
• Sympathy gift basket ideas
• Bereavement Support Groups - pros, cons, bottom line (10/04/2010)