After Doug died suddenly, I went to a Bereavement Support Group, sought help and advice from other widowers, read many books on grief, and saw a grief counselor. I was trying to figure out what to do and how to cope. There were some things I thought I knew, which turned out not to be true. There is a really good poem about this here - it helped me some of the roughest times.

• I thought I was strong and could handle just about anything. This brought me to my knees, many times.
• Then I thought I would not survive the loss and pain. So far, I have. (See surviving the first year)
• I thought my life was over, and that love would never find its way into my heart again. Then I met someone and chose to open my heart again.
  • I thought all my friends and family would be happy for me when I met someone. Some were not.
• I thought I could and would stay in our house. Now I'm not so sure. (See Should I stay or should I go now?)
• I thought that grief was linear; like a wound it would get better every day. I learned it is more like a roller coaster. (See stages of grief.)
• I thought the sadness had no limit, and that every moment of my life from that day on on would suck. A year and a half later, I find there are more happy times than sad.
• I thought denial would end, and I would come to terms with the fact that Doug is gone. A year and a half later, that hasn't happened yet.

MORE

• On dealing with loss
• Stages of grief
• Poem - I never thought
• How I survived the first year
• Should I stay or should I go now?
• I met someone