Everyone grieves at their own pace. It can take many months or several years. It is a process. The focus is usually on the past - what we miss, what we have lost. It is like time has stopped.

Unfortunately, some people get stuck in their grief for an inordinately, unhealthy span of time.

They say that moving on does not mean forgetting or abandoning the person you lost. It is healthy. They would probably want you to life your life. I figure if they loved you, they would probably not want you to be miserable forever.

One recommendation was to write down hobbies, skills, friendships, creative endeavors, etc., that you would like to explore. Start with one.

I decided not to give up on bluebirding. I have gone out to eat with friends and family. I will be going to a celebration (a wedding anniversary party) today.

I am savoring a good book a friend recommended that has nothing to do with Doug or grieving (it is The Botany of Desire.)

Soon I will start volunteering again.

I hope to start walking and hiking again soon.

07/18/2010 - more to come. I haven't figured this part out yet....

Either we have hope within us or we don't
It is a dimension of the soul, and is not essentially
dependent on some particular observation of the World
or observation of the situation. Hope is not prognostication.
It is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart
- Vaclav Havel

MORE

• Do Good, Feel Good (Volunteering) Our Better Nature
• Rituals that can help
• Moving beyond rumination - alternative coping strategies
• Words of advice for the to be bereaved - things to do and think about BEFORE a loss
• Bereavement Support Groups - pros, cons, bottom line (10/04/2010)