Also see: To Remember Me | Grow Old Along with Me | Quotes about the environment | Quotes about bluebirding | The Dragonfly Story | A poem by Jean Pillo | The Nest of the Loneliness Birds

The love lives on
- (Me)

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er~fraught heart and bids it break
~ Shakespeare, Macbeth

Blessed are those who mourn: for they shall be comforted.
~ Matthew 5:4

I only miss you when I'm breathing
~ Jason DeRulo, Breathing

Sorrow is my own yard
where the new grass
flames as it has flamed
often before but not
with the cold fire
that closes round me this year.
~ William Carlos Williams, The Widow’s Lament in Springtime

I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.
~ Jewish prayer

All those who try to go it sole alone,
Too proud to be beholden for relief,
Are absolutely sure to come to grief.
~ Robert Frost

Grief is neither an illness nor a pathological condition, but rather a highly personal and normal response to life~changing events, a natural process that can lead to healing and personal growth. The transition through this difficult time is the courageous journey.
~ Sandi Caplan and Gordon Lang, in Grief's Courageous Journey: A Workbook

And some survive the shock, the denial, the horror, the bargaining, the barren, empty aching, the unanswered prayers, the sleepless nights when their breath is crushed under the weight of silence and all that it means.
~ Mark Rickerby, How We Survive

A single person is missing for you, and the whole world is empty,
~ Philippe Aries, Western Attitudes toward Death.

We cannot control all that happens to us,
but we can control how we choose to respond. 
We can choose to overcome and survive it. 
~ Eleanora Ross

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal.
~ C.S. Lewis

Aionia I Mnimi (May his memory be eternal)

We must in tears
unwind a love knit up in many years
~ Henry King

When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, no nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.
~ James Taylor, "Just Call My Name"

Mindful grief means mourning and letting go of the past without expectation, fear, censure, blame, shame, control and so forth. Without such mindful grief, neither past nor person can be laid to rest.
~ David Richo, How to be an Adult in Relationships

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return
~ Nat King Cole, lyrics from Nature Boy

You cannot do kindness too soon
for you never know how soon it will be too late.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every day I'll wear your memory like a favorite shirt upon my back
~ Richard Thompson

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
~ - ?

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
~ Author unknown

The world may change from year to year,
And friends from day to day,
But sweet memories of you
Will never fade away
~ card from LifeChoice Donor Family Services

We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
~ Charles Swindoll

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all up hill....
when you want to smile, but you have to sigh
when care is pressing you down a bit
rest, if you must, but don't you quit

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns....
~ Author unknown

Siblings may be ambivalent about their relationships in life, but in death the power of their bond strangles the surviving heart. Death reminds us that we are part of the same river, the same flow from the same source, rushing towards the same destiny. Were you close? Yes, but we didn’t know it then.
~ Barbara Ascher, Landscape Without Gravity

Time is really the only thing that truly helps.  I’m sorry to have to tell you that.  I wish I could bear some of the grief with you so that you could take a break from it.
~ DU, a friend

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known
that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'da had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known
how the king would fall
Hey who's to say
you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'da had to miss the dance
~ Garth Brooks, lyrics to The Dance

Everything is meant to be lost, that the soul may stand in unhampered nothingness
~ Meister Eckhart

Miracles...rest not so much upon...healing power coming suddenly near us from afar but upon our own perceptions being made finer, so that, for a moment, our eyes can see...what is there around us always.
~ Willa Cather

Undo it, take it back, 
make every day the previous one 
until I am returned to the day 
before the one that made you gone....
losing this day, then that, 
until the day of loss still lies ahead, 
and you are here instead of sorrow.
~ Nessa Rapoport, A Woman's Book of Grieving

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. ... any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.
~ John Donne, Meditation XVII

Some survivors  try to think their way through grief.
That doesn't work.
Grief is a releasing process,  a discovery process,  a healing process.
We cannot release or discover or heal by the use of our minds alone.
The brain must follow the heart  at a respectful distance.
It is our hearts that ache when a loved one dies.
It is our emotions that are most drastically affected.
Certainly the mind suffers, the mind recalls,the mind may plot and plan and wish,
but it is the heart that will blaze the trail through the thicket of grief.
~ Carol Staudacher, A Time to Grieve : Meditations for Healing After the Death of a Loved One

A wound does not destroy us. It activates our self-healing powers. The point is not to "put it behind you" but to keep benefiting from the strength it has awakened.
~ David Richo, How to be an Adult in Relationships

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
In the opening of the buds and in the warmth of summer,
In the rustling of leaves and the beauty of autumn,
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
When we are weary and in need of strength,
When we are lost and sick of heart,
When we have joys we yearn to share,
So long as we live, they too shall live, 
For they are now a part of us, as 
We remember them.
~Gates of Prayer, Reform Judaism Prayer Book

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you....If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
~ Winnie the Pooh

Pain is the difference between what is
and what I want it to be. 
~ Spencer Johnson, The Precious Present

If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.
~ Winnie the Pooh

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Baby steps. You can do it.
~ Doug Zimmerman (coaxing me up a mountain)

Painful memories can become a memory of pain.
~ Donna Lowry, grief counselor

They are not dead
who live in lives they leave behind.
~ Hugh Robert Orr

Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.
~CS Lewis

The span between life and death can be as quick and sudden as a puff of wind that blows out a candle. But the candle does not suffer after darkness comes. It is the person left in the dark room who gropes and stumbles.
~ Helen Duke Fike

What matters is not what life does to you but rather what you do with what life does to you.
~ Edgar Jackson

A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what a ship is for.
~ Thomas Aquinas

I walked a mile with Pleasure.
She chattered all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But oh, the things
I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!
~ Robert Browning

It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses.
~Colette

Some people live a larger life,
no matter what life's length.
By looking on the brighter side,
They find an inner strength.

They take whatever time they have
and live for all they're worth,
Spreading love and happiness
to others here on earth.

They laugh a little louder
and care a little more
and show through their example
just what life is for.

Although we miss them
when they're gone
what stories we can tell
of how they made a difference
by simply living well.
- Hallmark card

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one, and the shore seems miles away.

Waves of despair numb my soul as I struggle through each day.

My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream and repeatedly ask, “WHY?”

At times, my grief overwhelms me, and I weep bitterly, so great is my loss.

Please don’t turn away or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain before I can begin to heal.

Companion me through my tears and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey, not where you think I should be.

Listen patiently to my story.
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.

Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.

A small flame still burns within my heart, and shared memories may trigger both laughter and tears.

I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.

Please, will you walk beside me?
~ Jill B. Englar

In mindful grief, we become the landing strip that allows any feelings to arrive. Some crash, some land softly. Some harm us, but none harm us in a lasting way. We remain as they taxi away or as their wreckage is cleared away. We can trust that we will survive.
~ David Richo, How to be an Adult in Relationships

I’ll be seeing uou
in all the old familiar places
that this heart of mine embraces
all day through....
I’ll be seeing you
in every lovely summer’s day,
in everything that’s light and gay.
I’ll always think of you that way.
I’ll find you in the morning sun, And when the night is new,
I’ll be looking at the moon ~
but I’ll be seeing you.
~ Irving Kahal and Sammy Fain, lyrics of I'll Be Seeing You

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing:
the last of the human freedoms —
to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one’s own way.
— Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

God gave us memories,
that we might have roses in December.
~ J. M. Barrie

Grief is a tidal wave that overtakes you,
smashes down upon you with unimaginable force,
sweeps you up into its darkness,
where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces,
only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped....
~ Stephanie Ericsson, Companion Through The Darkness: Inner Dialogues on Grief

When I miss you the most, I look inside and there you are.

Think of a lifeless forest in which a small plant pushes its head upward, out of the ruin. In our grief process, we are moving into life from death, without denying the devastation that came before.
~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler, in On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss

I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again.
~ James Taylor, Fire and Rain lyrics

I never thought I could go on living when you died, but - I did.
I never thought I would survive after burying you, but - I did.
I never thought I'd get through those first days, weeks and months, but - I did.
I never thought I would be able to endure the first anniversary of your death, but - I did.
I never thought I would let myself love my new grandchild, but - I did.
I never thought tomorrow would be different, but - it was.
I never thought I would stop crying for you, but - I have.
I never thought that I would ever sing again, but - have.
I never thought the pain would "soften," but - it has.
I never thought I would care if the sun shone again, but - I do.
I never thought I would be able to entertain again, but - I have.
I never thought I would be able to control my grief, but - I can.
I never thought I could function without medication again, but - I can.
I never thought I'd smile again, but - I do.
I never thought I would laugh out loud again, but - I do.
I never thought I would look forward to tomorrow, but - I do.
I never thought I'd reconcile your death, but - I have.
I never thought I would be able to create that "new normal," but - I have.
I never thought I'd want to go on living after you died, but - I do.
Always missing you,
always loving you,
and thinking of you daily,
with a smile on my face
and tears in my heart.
~ Author unknown

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
~ Unknown

The greatest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.
~ Thornton Wilder

Evoke one good memory for each bad one from now on.
~ David Richo, How to Be an Adult in Relationships

No person is truly ever alone.
Those who live no more,
whom we loved,
echo still within our thoughts,
our words, our hearts.
And what they did
and who they were
becomes a part of all that we are,
forever.
~ Richard Fife

Make music with what remains.
Complete the song left for us to sing,
Transcend the loss,
Play it out with heart, soul and might
With all remaining strength within us.
~ Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis

You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying overhead,
but you can prevent them from making nests in your hair.
~ Chinese Proverb

Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
~ Pueblo blessing

All thy old woes shall now smile on thee,
and thy pains sit bright on thee.
All thy soorrows here shall shine
and thy sufferings be divine;
Tears shall take comfort and turn to gems
and wrongs repent to diadems
Even thy deaths shall live and new
dress the soul that once they slew.
~ Richard Crashaw, Hymn to Saint Theresa

...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the ourage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
~ The Serenity Prayer

For survivors, the word closure often connotes that the bereaved are underachievers who flunked a grief course.
~ Rabbi Dr. Earl Grollman

Grief work takes more time and effort than most people ever anticipate. And even after weeks, months, and years later, grief may ebb, but never ends....
~ Dr. Jimmy Holland

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
~ Audrey Hepburn

Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love, give me away as best you can.
~ Author unknown

It is ironic that the presence of an absence can be so emotionally devastating.
– Bill Jenkins, What to Do When the Police Leave: A Guide to the First Days of Traumatic Loss

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief or bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face us with the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
~ Henri J. M. Nouwen in Out of Solitude; Three Meditations on the Christian Life

When I hold back my tears, my throat grows tight, my chest aches, my stomach knots . . . because I’m trying to protect you from my tears. Then we both hurt . . . me, because my feelings are held inside, causing pain and a shield against our closeness . . . and you, because suddenly we’re emotionally distant. So please, take my hand and see me through my tears . . . then we can be close again
– Kelly Osmont, What Can I Say and Do? How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving a Loss

Grief comes in one size, Extra Large. If we tuck it away in the bottom drawer where it never sees the light of day, it remains exactly the same. On the other hand, if we wear it, feel it, talk about it, and share it with others, it is likely that it will become faded, shrunk and worn, or will simply no longer fit. When grief has served its purpose, we are able to recognize the many gifts we have gained. ~ Dianne Arcangel, in Life After Loss : Conquering Grief and Finding Hope

If you truly want to grow as a person and learn, you should realize that the universe has enrolled you in the graduate program of life, called loss. ~ Elisabeth Kübler~Ross

The most beautiful people we have known
are those who have known defeat,
known suffering, known struggle, known loss,
and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation,
a sensitivity, and an understanding of life
that fills them with compassion, gentleness,
and a deep, loving concern.
~ Roy and Jane Nichols

The span between life and death can be as quick and sudden as a puff of wind that blows out a candle. But the candle does not suffer after darkness comes. It is the person left in the dark room who gropes and stumbles.
~ Helen Duke Fike, Interregnum

To be playful is not to be trivial or frivolous, or to act as if nothing of consequence will happen. On the contrary, when we are playful with one another, we relate as free persons, and the relationship is open to surprise; everything that happens is of consequence…
for seriousness is a dread of the unpredictable outcome of open possibility.
To be serious is to press for a specified conclusion. To be playful is to allow for unlimited possibility.
~ James Carse

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that, in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight
~ Kahlil Gibran

Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now, how could I help him? What should I tell him? Well, I refrained from telling him anything but instead confronted him with the question, “What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?”

“Oh,” he said, “for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!” Whereupon I replied, “You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it was you who have spared her this suffering – to be sure, at the price that now you have to mourn her.” He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left my office. In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of sacrifice.
~ Victor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

It is the denial of death that is partially responsible for people living empty, purposeless lives; for when you live as if you'll live forever, it becomes too easy to postpone the things that you must do. You live your life in preparation for tomorrow or in remembrance of yesterday, and meanwhile, each today is lost.
~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, On Death and Dying

We cannot, after all, judge a biography by its length, by the number of pages in it; we must judge by the richness of the contents..... Sometimes the 'unfinisheds' are among the most beautiful symphonies.
~Victor Frankl, The Doctor and the Soul

Spring does not refuse to come because it was preceded by winter.
~ Judy Tatelbaum, The Courage to Grieve

Funeral Blues, by W.H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Life is short and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. Therefore be swift to love, make haste to be kind.
~Henri-Frederic Amiel (1821~1881)

...if the dead can come back to this earth, and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you~in the garish day, and the darkest night amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours~always, always, and, if the soft breeze fans your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air cools your throbbing temples, it shall be my spirit passing by.
~ Sullivan Ballou to his wife Sarah, 1861

If I die, survive me with such a pure force
that you dispel the fury of the pallor and the cold....
I don't want your laugh or your footsteps to waver,
I don't want my legacy of happiness to die.
Don't call to my heart, I am not there
Live in my absence as in a house....
It is a house so transparent
that I without life will see you living
and if you suffer, my love, I will die a second time.
~ Pablo Neruda, Sonnet XCIV

When you love someone, it is never too soon to say, "I love you," or premature to say, "Thank you," "I forgive you," or "Will you please forgive me?" ...These simple words hold essential wisdom for transforming that which matters most in our lives ~ our relationships with the people we love.
~ Ira Byock, M.D, The Four Things That Matter Most : A Book About Living

Who can say for certain, maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me, your memory so clear.....
As my heart holds you just one beat away,
I cherish all you gave me everyday
~ Performed by Josh Groban, composed by Richard Marx

If their song is to continue, then we must do the singing.
~ Elaine Stillwell, in "Singing Their Song," Grief Digest, Volume 2, Issue #4

The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post.
~ L. Thomas Holdcroft

Let fate do her worst; there are relics of joy,
Bright dreams of the past, which she cannot destroy;
And which come in the night-time of sorrow and care,
To bring back the features that joy used to wear.
Long, long be my heart with such memories filled,
Like the vase in which roses have once been distilled;
You may break, you may ruin the vase, if you will,
But the scent of the roses will hang round it still.
~ T. Moore

I have learned that when one is on their own, for what ever reason, one has to force oneself participate in life. It's not easy, but we need to remain a part of the world.
~ Linda Karen Peterson

I don't think of him every day; I think of him every hour of every day.
~ Gregory Peck, in an interview many years after his son's death

It is strangely reassuring ~ this suggestion that the pain of that empty space will always be with us. Because while we do want to feel better, we do not want, ever, to forget.

We will, of course, find new places to put the affection and love and time that we used to pour out to the one we lost. Not to do that would be to turn inward, refuse to be vulnerable ~ a poor memorial, a poor stewardship of the life left to us....
~ Martha Whitmore Hackman

Grief can be the garden of compassion.
~ Rumi

Live your life as if she were still alive.
- from the film One Day

I have been trying to make the best of grief and am just beginning to learn to allow it to make the best of me.
~ Barbara Lazear Ascher, Landscape without Gravity

The only grief that does not end is grief that has not been fully faced
~ Judy Tatelbaum, The Courage to Grieve

Just like a balloon, with the last bit of air just ~pfffft ~ right out of the balloon, I felt my energy lift and my spirit surrender....I said goodbye to my life....I felt expansive, like a genie just liberated from her bottle, and my spirit soared free....
~Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, brain researcher who suffered a massive stroke in her left hemisphere

They say in the end
your good friends pull you through.
But everyone knows
that my best friend was you
~ Lyrics to Homeless, by Loudon Wainwright III (written after his best friend, his mother, died)

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind.
~ William Wordsworth

The future just ain't what it used to be
~ Yogi Berra

You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness.

It's loving and giving that make life worth living.
~ Ella Higginson

...the love we hold back is the only pain that follows us here. And the memory of that love shouldn't make you unhappy for the rest of your life.
- Always, 1989, Richard Dreyfuss as Peter Sandich

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone who journeyed through the night
with plans and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head from the crowd of the world
to say it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where like a shadow or a friend.

~ Naomi Shihab Nye from The Words Under the Words: Selected Poems

Since you’ve been gone
my world is empty
Like a desert without sand
Like an ocean without water
Like a country without land.

Since you’ve been gone
my world is empty
My days are hard and long
I’m like a fish out of the water
I’m like a bird without a song
~ Mary Chancey, excerpted from a poem Since You've Been Gone

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?
~ Robert Frost, Reluctance

Grief is love's unwillingness to let go.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
~ C.S. Lewis

Lost dreams, shattered hope, an altered future
– nothing is as I had planned.
~ Source?

Treat yourself with the same kind of love, respect, and patience that you would offer to a friend, and listen to yourself.
~ Laynee Gilbert, from I Remember You: A Grief Journal

When all your hope has gone
And everything you love has gone away
Whatever gets you through the day
That's your way
~ Lighthouse Family lyrics

The sky is crying
look at the tears roll down the street ...
the weeping willows weep for me
~ Geourge Thorogood and the Destroyers, The Sky is Crying

Grief is a collection of feelings that we need to experience, not a handicap that we must overcome.
~ paraphrasing Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt, Understanding Grief

On the positive side, the acute grief of withdrawal motivated us to dig deeper, reach all the way down to our untapped resources. We panned for our grittiest reserves and came up with survival skills and hidden strengths that amazed us.
~ Susan Anderson, Suffering the Death of a Loved One

Grieving is an important part of life and it is not a linear process. It has been described as "coming in waves." One minute we might feel fine and then something will happen to trigger memories and then the grief can come again. While death is a part of life, the grieving process is critical to understand in helping us to move on with life.
~ J.E. Reed, The Grief Blog

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.
~ Robert Fulghum

People won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again
~ James Taylor, Fire and Rain

When we really lose ourselves, is when we really find ourselves

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain but for the heart to conquer it.
~ Rabindranath Tagore, Fruit~Gathering

Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away. Just let it out, my friend.
~Terri Guillemets

Grief is a roller coaster, not a series of stages....Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss.
~ Hospice Foundation of America

’T is better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
~ Alfred Tennyson Tennyson, In Memoriam, xxvii, Stanza 4.

Mourn these losses. None of the folks you miss can ever be replaced. But know they are not truly lost to you, for they left part of themselves in who you are....
Carol Luebering, Coping with the Losses that Life Brings

Nothing can fill the gap when we are away from those we love, and it would be wrong to try to find anything.....It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; he does not fill it, but keeps it empty so that our communion with another may be kept alive, even at the cost of pain.
~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

In terms of soul work, we dare not get rid of the pain before we have learned what it has to teach us.
~ Richard Rohr

When you've drunk the bitter cupful, you will find a rare jewel in the bottom.
~ B.A. Elliot

The denial of death is openly acknowledged as a significant trait of our culture. The tears of the bereaved have become comparable to the excretions of the diseased
~ Phillippe Aries

There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat.
~ James Russell Lowell

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven

I must be strong,
and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven
~ Eric Clapton and Will Jennings, Tears in Heaven lyrics, written after his son died

Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?—every, every minute?
~ Thornton Wilder, Emiily from Our Town

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone.
~ Rogers & Hammerstein lyrics from Carousel

When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out — because that's what's inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.
~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Treasure the memories that comfort you, and explore those that may trouble you. Even difficult memories can help us to heal. Share memories with those who listen well and support you. Recognize that your memories may make you laugh or cry. In either case, they are a lasting part of the relationship you had with your spouse.
~ The Lluminari Experts

To say goodbye is not to develop amnesia
~ Jim Noel

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
~Maya Angelou

Such a tapestry of memories we weave throughout our lives - even when there is unevenness, variations, or faults within the weaving process --the result is still beautiful.
~ Linda K Peterson

Either we have hope within us or we don't
It is a dimension of the soul, and is not essentially
dependent on some particular observation of the World
or observation of the situation. Hope is not prognostication.
It is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart
~ Vaclav Havel

When your parents die, it is said you lose your past; when your spouse dies, you lose your present; and when your child dies, you lose your future. However, when your sibling dies, you lose a part of your past, your present, and your future.
~ Compassionate Friends, Adults grieving loss of a sibling

Grief is like manure, if you spread it out it fertilizes, if you leave it in a big pile it smells like crap.
~ Tom Golden, Men, Grief and Ritual

This is a long journey we are on, and we must go through.  We can't go around, under, or over. 
~ Linda Boravicka

It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.
~ Joseph Campbell

To suppress the grief, the pain, is to condemn oneself to a living death. Living fully means feeling fully; it means becoming completely one with what you are experiencing and not holding it at arm's length.
~ Philip Kapleau, The Wheel of Life and Death

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
~ Dr. Seuss

And I will light a candle for you.
To shatter all the darnkness and bless the times we knew.
Like a beacon in the night,
the flame will burn bright
and guide us on our way.

Oh, today I will light a candle for you.
The seasons come and go,
and I'm weary of the change.
I keep moving on,
you know it's not the same

.And when I'm walking all alone,
do you hear me call your name?
Do you hear me sing the songs we used to sing?

You filled my life with wonder;
touched me with surprise,
I always saw that something special deep within your eyes.
And through the good times and the bad,
we carried on with pride.
I hold on to the love and life we knew.
- Paul Alexander

Often, it is through
the most difficult days of our lives
that we come to know ourselves
and what is truly important to us.
No matter hos sad you may feel at times, be confident that hope will
awaken with you tomorrow.

Faith and courage reach out to you;
take hold of them, and you will find
that you will be able to smile again
and truly be happy once more.

How we deal with life
is really a matter of personal choice,
so choose to be happy.
Find joy in the simplest things,
and see beauty in each person you meet.
When times are difficult,
remind yourself that no pain
comes to you without a purpose....
~ Author?

I myself have often longed for some structure and theory that would compartmentalize or chart my pain. But, there is no single story or timetable or passageway through sorrow.
~ Helen Vozenilek, Loss of the Ground-Note

If there is a gift for us in exchange for our losses, it is a new, constant state of cherishing.
~ Stephanie Ericsson, Companion Through Darkness

Live and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. .... Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.
~ The Shell Seekers

Each death and departure comes to us as a surprise, a sorrow never anticipated.
Life is a long series of farewells; only the circumstances should surprise us.
~ Jessamyn West, The Life I Really Lived

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