Doug was my life. Knowing him changed me, I hope forever. Now that he is gone, I am lost.

Why I set up this site | Why "Cragman" | About Doug & Me | To Contact Me | Donating


Give sorrow words;
the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart
and bids it break

- William Shakespeare, Macbeth


  • As a tribute to him. I wanted to share Dougness with others. That includes those who miss him like I do, and those who were not lucky enough to know him well or at all. I wanted to share more about some sides of Doug that others might not have been lucky enough to see.
  • I wanted to share with those who were not able to make the services held in his memory.
  • I selfishly think it will help me cope. It gives me something to do on the sleepless nights. Kind of like therapy. It is cathartic to navigate through the before, during and after. There are so many thoughts and feelings swirling through me, it helps to write them down.
  • The blog answers the "how are you" question. For those who care. For those that really don't want the truth, they can just skip it. And it is easier to write about it than it is to talk about it.
  • He was a great guy. He deserves to be recognized and remembered for that, and so much more.
  • This site is like an uber-scrapbook that is easy to share.
  • I hope it might help us all navigate through this unwanted and untimely change in our lives, and other losses we must inevitably bear.

I do hope I do not become some crazed surviving spouse (can't bring myself to say the "w' word yet) obsessed and constantly blathering about their partner who passed away decades ago. However, I always talked about Doug. He was such a big part of my life. We did as much as possible together. And there were always so many stories to tell. Stories about the silly, crazy, idiotic, annoying, loving, and oh so funny things he did. I don't see any reason to forget about them now, or let them fade.

Obviously it is very public to post this on the Internet. For some, this process must be much more private (like writing in a journal.) Because I am not very self-conscious, I don't mind the scrutiny and judgment of others. And I hope this sharing might help someone somewhere.

I owe special thanks to my eFriends who are helping me with editing and picking up typos on this site - especially Vicki B and Linda M.


I called the site "Cragman" because Doug's middle name was Craig. Craig is from a Scottish surname that was derived from Gaelic creag meaning "crag" or "rocks." Read More.



I first met Doug on May 24, 1983 on his first day at the CT Department of Environmental Protection. After we both got dumped, we went on our first date on November 1, 1990. He proposed a year later to the day. I accepted, but chickened out (once burnt, twice shy.) I moved out to Richland, WA, then to Amarillo TX, and then to Long Island. However, we always kept in touch and met up several times for funerals, camping and visits.

I finally realized I couldn't live without him. I moved back to CT in August of 1998. We were married on September 11, 1999.

He left us on June 8, 2010.

Nothing will ever be the same.



I know this site is a bit raw. When I write in the middle of the night or early morning, a lot of it is blather with typos for topping. If you notice those typos, a link that doesn't work, or something you think I should change/remove/add, I'd appreciate you contacting me.

It would also help me and others if you would share memories, Even sharing the pain of losing Doug reminds us that we are not alone.

If you would like to contact me about this siteyou can email me at email Bet'


If I can stop one heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one life the aching
or cool one pain,
or help one fainting robin
unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
~ Emily Dickinson



Some friends, colleagues and readers have asked about donations. I don't want donations for this website - it is a labor of love. If you would like to do something in honor Doug, we did select three non-profit organizations he believed in that will make good use of any funds given.



©2010. Designed by Chimalis LLC.
Please request permission before re-publishing content from this website, except for content on the quotes/poems page. This website is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. The author shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss, damage or disruption caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by any information contained on this website.