June 8, 2010

Like the weather, since that bright day last Tuesday, I try to be sunny, but I just can’t seem to manage it for long before the pain of missing Doug clouds my heart, and soon it begins to rain again.

We all knew Doug to be so full of life, Bubbling over with delight and fun… smart and kind.

Just last week my husband and I had talked about my plan to have a dinner party with the 4 most playful men that we know gathered together in one room. We savoured in our imagination the joy of having Doug and the others together around our table, and preened ourselves in the knowledge of our good fortune in knowing such gifted people.

In the late afternoon of last Tuesday, with huge sadness in my heart, I wanted to go out on the lake to commune with Doug on the sunset of his last day. I poured my whiskey into a big mug and put on my rubber boots so that I could wade through the muck to get in to the stern of the canoe as I had done many times.

As I lifted the last foot over the gunwhales, drink in one hand, the boot caught, and the wobble it created unbalanced me, and I careened over the side into the lake. The whiskey went flying and my boots filled up with water, and there I wallowed laughing my head off, and thinking of Doug laughing his head off with me.

- Lisa

Also see Channeling Doug