CRAGMAN - widows and remarriage

From a young woman who lost her soldier husband and remarried:

"I'm very blessed to have met a man who is so compassionate and understanding of all of this “baggage” I still carry. He has stepped up to take on the role of father to my orphaned children. He walks by my side, as I wade through my grief. It hasn’t been easy to remarry. At times, I even feel like I stepped into someone else’s life. But, I will say that the experience of finding love again has felt like a ray of sunshine through the most bitter of storms."
- From The Widow Project, http://americanwidowproject.org/stories/on-getting-remarried/

From a widower friend whose first wife died after an extended illness:

"I am living proof that there is abundant, absurdly happy life after death. Next week we mark the fifth anniversary of S's death. Never in my wildest dreams or prayers did I imagine myself being this happy and blessed within such a “short” period of time. I am more in love with C every day. Something I didn’t think was possible given the breadth and depth of my love when we were married. What I have often heard from well-intentioned friends is that I “deserve” to be this happy. I don’t deserve anything, but I will certainly take it!"

Some interesting statistics from Widow Source

Because they live longer, women are more likely than men to lose a spouse. Roughly 34% of women 65 ad older were widows in 2016, compared to about 12% of men. (Census Bureau)
19% of all widows remarry or become involved in a new romance 25 months following the death of their spouse. Several studies have shown that younger widows tend to remarry more often than older widows - on average becoming remarried within four years.
Approximately half of widows under 55 remarry while only 5% over 55 remarry. Some look at remarriage as the opportunity to have a fulfilling relationship for the first time in their lives.

ADVICE FROM Widow Source

"If you are considering remarriage, take your time. Remarriage later in life is complicated for a variety of legal and emotional reasons. It's not like young courtship and marriage when you're both broke and happy to have a three-room apartment overlooking the parking lot. Mature people literally have a lot more baggage - kids, stuff, pets, friends, hobbies, side-of-the-bed preferences, and vacation priorities. What is your motivation for remarriage? Do you aspire to nurture mutual interests the way newlyweds do, or is it more a merger of interests?"

FROM Transcending Loss

A successful remarried couple is likely to "accept that their relationship is unique and different from the ones before it.... They are open about their thoughts and feelings. They acknowledge the past and together build a new future. This remarkable willingness to again be vulnerable to loss, to again embrace the joys and dangers of love is true testimony to the human heart's resilience."

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